Is that foam coming out of your mouth?

I am periodically taken aback at how some people react to my veganism.  Most of the time they are just indifferent.  "That's nice", they say.  Or, "I could never do that. Pass the roast beef, will you?"  But on a few occasions the reaction is a bit more...adverse.  The rise in tension is almost palpable.  It is almost as instead of stating I don't eat meat, they heard me say I don't eat human babies or something.

Now let me make it clear that I haven't always approached things...diplomatically.  But fortunately that phase was very brief.  In a household where some are vegan and some are not I learned, thanks to a very patient wife, to be a bit more tolerant of others.   Not that I always accept their claims but I try to come up with better, more peaceful ways to discuss my views while letting the fact of my veganism speak for my convictions.  So I don't compare the meat industry with concentration camps or eating meat with that of eating human babies*.

However, we as humans have this really interesting reaction to threat of the polemical kind.  When we have a strong reaction to someone's position we will sometimes make up things to show how bad the other person really is.  I don't believe that this is always intentional.  In fact, I believe it is quite often the case that it is subconscious and therefore unintentional.  Nonetheless I see it happen.  I am sure I've even done it myself.

What happens is we will state our position, someone will vehemently disagree, an argument will ensue and even if the whole event was amicable on the surface, if you give it some time and go back and ask either of the people what was said you may find that either or both have some interesting takes on the conversation.  I have been accused of doing and saying things that I know I never said or did.  Or, which is most often the case, the other person only remembers what I said and nothing about the details surrounding why I said it.

Conversation about veganism can be very difficult because we aren't just talking about our health.  If I believe an apple a day keeps the doctor away and someone else believes differently I doubt much will be made of the discussion.   But veganism has ethical implications tied to the word and so the discussion is much more than simply dietary.  This is why many have gone to stating that they are on a "plant based" diet instead of using the ethically and politically charge "vegan".   I personally have decided to stick with vegan because I want people to know, even if that knowledge is only culturally instinctual, that my choice to not eat meat is ethical. I also do this knowing that very few people want to hear it.  They would rather I just eat my salad and shut-up.  But even when I do not say anything, they will assume I did and, well, that's that.

No, I don't believe in "live and let live".  I believe in respecting and loving those around me, but that doesn't mean I am going to capitulate on my morals or ethics.  If that offends some (and it will) I can live with that.  But my actions have to be more than reactions, they also have to be true and personally initiated actions for my part.  I don't see how people can think indifference is anything other than insulting.  Many today seem to think that "tolerance" means I accept everything someone else says as true (at least for them) and therefore beyond question or objection.  Doing that is simple patronizing and not tolerance at all.   Real tolerance is to disagree with someone else and yet still respect and love them.   But because of this misunderstanding, thanks to some pedants in so-called institutes of higher-learning, people think you are being "intolerant" if your words or life suggest they could be wrong.

Of course the problem runs a lot deeper than the dictionary definition of a word.  It comes down to a fundamental misunderstanding of relationships between humans, animals and the environment.  Contrary to what one may think (and I admit that it sounds counter intuitive) to patronize someone the way I described above is an ultimate expression of self-interest and preservation.  It is saving your own face and skin all in the name of "peace" or "tolerance".   In other words you really aren't doing anyone any favors.  Society needs men and women of conviction.  People who will stand up for what they believe even if the entire society stands against them.  Not for bad things or wrong things, but for what is right and just.  If, when I die, the only thing people remember is that I was a christian and vegan, then I'm good with that.  Those two words alone say a lot about who I am.

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* A lot has changed since I wrote this piece.  I have sense seen that being "nice" doesn't ultimately work for the animal welfare movement.  I don't wish to be rude either, but being honest and up-front is essential to people taking our message more seriously.  I also believe that there are way too many similarities with Nazi concentration camps for us to ignore.  Even Jews who have survived the horrible ordeal see the comparison. This isn't to diminish or even equate the one with the other but rather to emphasize the overt tragedy of both.